a celebration of thanks: days 6-8

See, I knew I’d fall behind.

 

28daysofbeingthankful

 

Day 6: Your Children

I currently don’t have any people-children, by my Daisy is surely my child. (My child that I can leave home alone for several hours at a time, but my child none the less.) I always had dogs growing up, but I never had my own personal dog until Daisy. And don’t get me wrong, I loved all of our dogs growing up, but I never knew how much I could love a dog until Daisy. Keith and I really lucked out with her. She is so calm and quiet. She is very needy attention-wise, but refuses to be a lap dog. Or even a couch dog. You can get a few minutes of couch time with her but then she’s off to cooler pastures. But oh how I adore her. My heart is so full of love for her, I feel like it can explode at any time. If you’re not a dog person, or a cat person, you really don’t know what you are missing.

photo

 

Day 7: A Failure You Have Had

How about my first semester of college? I was always a great student, teacher’s pet in elementary school. I graduated highschool with honors, I don’t have any idea what my GPA was, it wasn’t a 4.0 but maybe a 3.8? My senior year I took 4 AP classes (Stats, Lit, Spanish, Psych) along with other honors classes. And then I went to Pitt. And the siren song of my single dorm room and the complete freedom of being on my own for the first time ever (and depression, if we’re being honest) got to me and I chose to sleep through a lot of my classes. (As a high school senior I thought, “School starts at 7 now, I can handle 8am classes all week!” HA.) I wasn’t even out partying, which is probably the saddest part of all. I didn’t drink until I was 21, so my sleeping through classes was purely sleeping.

I even almost slept through my Stats final. Whoops. And then I got my grades for the semester. I can’t remember what the break-down was but my GPA for my first semester was under 2.0. I know this because I got put on academic probation and had to go to the Academic Resource Center where I sat there and felt smarter than everyone in the room. Which I may have been, but I was also lazier than everyone in the room and that was pretty damn stupid. The next semester my grades were up and continue to climb. I’ve retaken all of the failed classes, which wasted time and money but at least it helped repair my GPA some. I now have over a 3.0 and get mainly A’s with a few B’s thrown in. I can’t take back how stupid I was Freshman year, but I can make for damn sure I don’t let that happen again.

 

Day 8: A Success

I’d consider my entire life right now a success. I have a decent job, a wonderful fiance, a wonderful dog, a great house, some disposable income, good grades and my sanity. I’ve had a handful of rough patches in my life, but it has been pretty smooth sailing for the past few years and I have no one to thank for that but myself. Sure I have support of family and friends, but I have had that in the past and still managed to let depression get the best of me. At some point, shortly before I met Keith, I put my foot down. I don’t have time for that. I have always felt like depression was kind of like a blanket. A blanket that is so warm, so comforting, but is also slowly suffocating you. The more you wrap yourself up in that blanket, the harder it is to ever take it off. But you can! Once you take off the blanket, you realize it’s a balmy 75 outside and you didn’t need the blanket in the first place. But you know the blanket. I still have some bad days here and there, but they do no lay me up like they used to. I can also feel it coming on sometimes but refuse to let it. I may have reached some form of self-actualization, to be honest. I am a success.

 

(If you have never experienced depression, or even if you have, you should read this post over at hyperbole and a half. I have never read something that I have identified with so much. Except the corn. I’ve never had a corn moment. Mine has always been a slow spiral out just as it’s a slow spiral in. And I also didn’t really talk to people while depressed. I would just lock myself in my room. I was a real pleasure to live with.)

Okay this got a lot deeper than planned. Here’s a puppy chaser.

sam4

I spend a lot of time thinking about what Daisy would have looked like as a puppy. Probably like this.

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2 Comments

  1. The good news is that you learned from your “failure” and didn’t wallow in it. Sounds like you’re cruising right along. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  2. no worries girlfriend, I fell behind too! and it’s my project!! I am caught up though, hopefully!! Great posts!! xo nicole

    Reply

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